26 November 2020

KwaZulu-Natal Health MEC Ms Nomagugu Simelane-Zulu has decried the absence of men from efforts to end Gender-Based Violence (GBV), and believes initiatives to eradicate this scourge will not succeed if women are left to talk among themselves.

The MEC has also revealed her plans to stoke men's consciences and douse the aggression and perversion that fuels GBV, through a series of upcoming round-table discussions, while also strengthening existing programmes.

Speaking yesterday during the launch of the 16 Days of Activism for no Violence Against Women and Children campaign at Amajuba District (Newcastle), where she is the political champion, MEC Simelane-Zulu said the time had come for men to ask themselves some tough questions.

"Every month, young people are being killed. We have horrific cases. What are we facing as a society? Why are men, Black men especially, so angry? What is this anger about? That's what we need to address."

"Sometimes, when we coexist we think we are surrounded by people, whereas some of us are animals. What kind of man lusts after a six month old child, and seeks sexual pleasure from them? We know that some children are raped at the age of one or two months."

"Our plea to men who are perpertrating Gender-Based Violence is, stop conducting yourselves as animals. As women, we fear for our own safety. We fear for the safety of our own sisters, and our own children. But not only that. We are so far gone as a society that we fear for the safety of the gogos who gave birth to us. If I am here safe, then is my mother safe where she is? If I go to work and leave a six month-old child with their cousin, is my child safe? You leave your child with their 15 year-old cousin, and when you get back, that child has been raped and murdered! That's the society we live in."

MEC Simelane-Zulu also called on law enforcement authorities to think twice before granting bail to people accused of abusing their partners - especially in the presence of overwhelming evidence - as this sometimes escalated to murder.

"Some women get killed after opening cases against their partner. We need to have a discussion with the NPA, where we must ask how a known person who is feared… and there is evidence that they assaulted or stabbed their partner… still manages to walk out the gate - despite police having put together all the evidence that is needed [to convict them]. We need to have a discussion, because the law says when looking at bail conditions, you consider whether there's a likelihood for that person to go back and cause further harm to their victim. We need all stakeholders in the value chain of the fight against gender-based violence to play their part."

She also took aim at most parents' disparate approach to rearing boys and girls, saying that this made boys grow up with a sense of entitlement over women.

"We also need to look at how we are socialising our boy children. We always give an impression that a boy child is better than the girl child, under any circumstance. When the clock hits 4pm, we say, 'no girl child should still be out on the street at this time. But the boy child can be out until 8pm, and we think that's normal. So, without saying anything, you're sending a message to the young people that you are raising that the boy child is better than the girl child. This will continue until they're old. The boy child will believe he is worthy of being listened to because he's 'better.' So, the way we raise our children is very important. We must agree at home that the girl child must be respected. We need to stop making boys the heirs, at the expense of their sisters, who are basically not seen."

And teaching girl children about their own self-worth, was just as important, said the MEC.

"Girls must leave home knowing that, 'I'm enough. If I meet someone along the way, they'll be adding to who I already am. But I'm enough on my own. I can live on my own. I don't need marriage to validate my worth'. Not that I have a problem with marriage, but your worth as a woman must be because of you. You can only learn that through how you are raised. And this means, you and I as parents have a responsibility to teach our children exactly that."

After scanning through a crowd of about 100 people in attendance - who sat according to new social distancing norms in the big hall - the MEC said the fact that the majority of attendees were women was an example of a bigger problem: men not caring enough to support efforts to end Gender-Based Violence.

"Trying to address issues on our own as women, is not going to be effective, GBV and femicide is a societal issue. It's an issue that needs our full participation, in order to find solutions. You need everyone to be part of the solution. You need the perpetrators, and women, and Government, you need civil society, amakhosi, the traditional health practitioners, and religious sector, to be there. You need a society that's going to work together. That is why, here at Amajuba, in the next two months, we’re going to come back and have a round-table discussion. These are discussions that we must have in other parts of the province as well."

The MEC said these new platforms would serve to enhance the Department's existing programmes such as Isibaya Samadoda, and its urban derivative Ikhosomba Lamajita (Men's Corner) "where we speak to young people and say, Ithekeni ayibanjwa kanje (That is not how you handle a woman). We want young people to be able to talk among themselves, in a language that they understand.

"More than half of us grew up in abusive homes, where mothers were being beaten up by the father. It became 'normal', we grew up knowing that if it was the man's payday, there will be no peace. It was common knowledge. But we did absolutely nothing.

"It must come to an end. If we don't bring it to an end, it becomes a vicious cycle. We continue to raise boys who think it's normal to beat up a woman. We raise girls who think 'If he doesn’t beat me, he doesn't love me.' We need to change that and break the cycle. And the only way to do that is to instil a new culture of respecting women… a new culture of understanding what young men are faced with, so that we can resolve those issues."

Issued by the KwaZulu-Natal Department of Health